This is a letter to all girls out there (not that guys can't hear these words or find meaning behind it). A kind of girl-to-girl, sister talk. That's right how to be a godly woman and how to be WORTH IT, and find what we truly deserve. Now heed my warning I feel I am pretty good at giving advice (although a lot of times I ignore my own), my thoughts are my own; the word however is his, so these truths remain.
In a world where we are expected to look and act a certain way, the pressures of social media and of others can cloud our judgement, and we all too often face the ever pressing issue of "when will I ever find the right guy for me?" Well sometimes the place to start is with ourselves. What type of woman should I be? The bible gives clear examples, the most famous and relevant is the "Proverbs 31" woman. Now I am sure a lot of you have heard that term, but what does it mean. It gives very keen characteristics of what virtues a woman should have: trust, goodness, purpose, diligence, servitude, and strength. In verse 25 it states "she is clothed with strength and dignity, she laughs without fear of the future." And in verse 30, " Charm is deceptive nd beauty does not last, but a woman that fears the Lord will be greatly praised." The words of Proverbs stress that beauty, and love should steam from one's character and not one outward appearance. Remember God created you in his own image (Genesis 1:27), therefore no one could be more beautiful, more meaningful, more deserving of true love and happiness than you. God thoughts so; so should you. If you are to be valued by others you must value yourself, and strive to be the best version of yourself. Another verse is James 1:12, " God blesses those who patently endure testing and temptation." This message can be for both guys and girls. The wait is worth it, you are worth it. If you settle for something or someone who is want you want, not what you need, you will most likely be left with wanting something more. These wants, especially in the world we live in, are more consuming than ever before. With the "snap streaks", the "sliding in the DMs", and all those "tinder swipes" we find our selves consumed with matching with someone who we all really know isn't a good match. (Look at Proverbs 5:23 if you struggle with the connectedness to these types of crutches in finding "true love.") Believe me (and I have to hardest time) that the right guy will come along, and sometimes it actually isn't as hard to talk or meet them in person. (I know talking to some one in person! Who would have thought!) What do I deserve? Everything, you deserve everything. Now that is not a cliché, it has already been proven once by the only man who can love you endlessly; Jesus Christ. Our Lord loved us when we were undeserving, and sent his son to die that he could continue to love us. We are so unworthy, yet his love never ceases. In 2nd Corinthians 11:2 we are "promised as a pure bride to one husband-Christ." This is reiterated in the book Song of Songs (If you want to get all in your "feels" and know what a love song is, look there.) The love God has for us, the church, his people is that of a husband and his pride. We are his creation, his perfect bride. Now those are some high standard for how you and your significant other should treat each other. Promised, committed, and true. In the end, when we look back at those so called "mistakes", and questionable "first semester decisions" we need to remember that God does put people in our lives for a reason. Either to help us grow, or to help them grow. Grow in strength in and of yourself. Most importantly be the woman that isn't afraid to stand firm in her morals. That isn't afraid to share her beliefs (or even that stupid one-liner from a Disney movie.) God loves you, so should you. the first step to growing in relationships, is to grow in Christ. (That I hope I can do as well.) So the next time you feel like a relationship isn't working out, or that you "will never get married" turn to the word of God and you will see you are worth it....and maybe play Beyoncé on the highest volume (#girl power.) So what do you deserve? {A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.- Proverbs 14:1}
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After a year in college I feel like I have learned so much about myself, about others, about my faith, and a little bit of Science, History, and English. At the end of the year I wrote everyone in my dorm hall a letter that contained ten pieces of advice. These pieces of advice I think can sum up and guide any one throughout their college journey. Believe me, I am no expert ( and sometimes I need to follow my own advice), but so far these have proven true. Here are my tips:
1. Value your life and the lives of others : be humble and kind No matter how many times you fail or succeed, everything happens for a reason. Understanding, learning, and growing stronger throughout your journey is what life is all about. Remember that everyone has a different story, you can chose to help them or hurt them. The choice is up to you. 2. Find something you want to do and work for it, even it may seem “dumb” to others If you have a dream, you also have the choice to achieve it. Pressure from peers, teachers, and especially parents can hinder or help people reach those dreams. College is about discovering who your are and what you want to do. God has a plan for your life also, and sometimes you have to be patient to reach your dreams. 3. If you have found new morals, please remember who you truly are, don’t destroy the boat just because the waves hit again. This is especially important in the journey of growing in your faith. College can be known for parties, drinking, and a slew of other bad things; but it doesn't have to be. Whether you have turned or reverted back to your old ways, grow to be the best you as possible. The work and wait are worth it! 4. Have Fun!! 5. Be yourself. Make dad jokes. Do your hair, dress nice. If it makes you happy. (This is like number 2.) Be you and love it. Many time it's hard to keep up the act when the audience isn't the one that matters. God made you the way you are, time to start living with that mentality. Ps: I am the queen of awkward dad jokes 6. Listen to your parents, they do know best. As much a college students want freedom, your parents are a vital part of your journey to get there and stay there. I would not be the places I am without God or my parents. Call or visit them every now and then. 7. However find your place, what you want, what you believe: if you do keep your parents in high regard and respect (This goes with 6) It is important to become an adult and grow and try out the things that you are interested in. Spiritually it is important to connect with Christ and build your testimony, growing with God is a personal choice and we all have to make it. 8. Get Lit. And by that I mean light that lamp and study… studying does pay off. Find what works and use those methods Going into college I said I would never go into the library. However during the last week of school I was probably there for 50 hours, at least. College revolves around learning, and learning revolves around memorization and studying; please find ways to do both. 9. Find someone (or someones) you trust. It’s ok to cry. More than likely someone else is going through a similar situation. Being sad or depressed is ok, however do not let the pain caused by someone else run your life Being a girl, you fall for the hot football player who turns out to be a big dummy. And yes, I maybe cried one too many times over him. Aside from the trivial things, depression and stress can cause lot of trouble. Your are away from home, have a new lifestyle, therefore the connections you make are vital. It is said there is no such thing as a solitary Christian, so go out there and find people who you can trust and who trust you. 10. Stay Strong! Stay Independent! Stay Happy! Stay Healthy! Stay you!! {For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.- Jeremiah 29:11} |